So, I am pretty sure everyone’s least favorite day of the week is Monday. But it’s the start of a new week, so I say we shake away those Monday vibes with a cup of coffee or two, and make it a good start. I have some BIG news to share with you guys today, so hold on to your coffee and let’s dive right in, shall we?
As I said before, I definitely want to talk about living with anxiety, depression, and a panic disorder with you guys. I think it helps to be open and honest about everything, especially with this stuff. It helps normalize it. And trust me, it is totally normal. So, something that is a huge trigger for my anxiety is having to make decisions. From big ones to small ones, like even choosing where to eat out with friends. I always end up feeling an overwhelming sense of guilt because I “chose” and what if I made the wrong decision? It can be debilitating, because sometimes I feel as if I’d just rather not go or do things at all. It’s been a big thing that I am working on, and so far I’ve been making a lot of improvement. Doing things for yourself or doing things that you’d like to do is totally okay. Sometimes, you have to think of yourself and put you first! It’s not always selfish and it’s not something that you have to feel bad about. It helps me if I take a couple deep breaths, and really think about and consider all options.
Which, comes to my big news. I did a thing. If you just went “uggggh, what did you do” you responded like 99% of the very few people I initially told about this. Do you ever see something so great, and kind of just go for it, but then forget about it because you think nothing will come out of it? Well, that’s kind of what happened. About two weeks ago, a friend shared a post about something called “Remote Year”. It had to do with traveling, so being someone who loves to travel, I clicked on the link. It’s a program where you work remotely with a group of 75 people while traveling to 12 cities across the globe for a year. The more I read about it, the more I loved the idea of it. It just seemed like such a far reach. They only choose 75 people, so the chances of getting in seemed pretty small, right? Right. But, I filled out the application and linked them to my social media anyway. It was a relatively quick process, so I thought what the heck. And almost immediately, I forgot about it. I didn’t think anything of it, and I’ve had so many things going on in the past month it just slipped my mind.
But then this happened:
And I got chosen.
First, before I even say anything, I know what you’re thinking. 18,000 emails. I know. I have 3 email addresses I use for business purposes, and then one I use for coupons and random stuff like that. Don’t judge me.
But seriously, I opened this and was shocked. I hadn’t even told anybody that I had applied for this. I honestly forgot about it. The chances of me getting picked seemed so small that it didn’t even seem like a real thing. I immediately started crying and texted my sister “Omg, I did something and I don’t want mom to be mad”. I was so terrified to have made such a big decision and then have it to be actually happening. I thought people would hate me. I thought they’d say things like “how could you just up and leave for a year” and just be upset. I felt terrible.
However, not a single person was mad at me. It turned out everyone was so, so happy for me. Some of my friends even got together for dinner and wine and researched more about the program with me. I cannot even put into words how supportive everyone was. It was incredible. Everyone wanted to help and support me in anyway they could. So, we researched. We crunched numbers, because even getting into something like this, traveling is still super expensive. We planned. We talked about how I’d be seeing the world, and how beautiful of a thing that was. Different adventures, different cultures, everything. This is everything to me. And they helped me come up with the best plan for me.
As of right now, I am deferring for a year. When I experience all of these things, I want to do so while I am in the best physical and mental shape of my entire life. Right now, I’m not quite there yet. I feel like if I left in the next few months, I’d be trying to find myself instead of living for the moment. And it’s really quite simple, I want to be on these adventures for the experience. Not because I’m trying to make sense of something or looking for something. I want to live in those moments. And I think if I work really hard and continue to focus on my wellness all around, I will be ready for that in 2018.
This was such a huge thing for me, and I was to say thanks to everyone who gave me “mom advice”. I am also proud of myself for really taking the time to make the best decision for me. I typically have so much anxiety that I would never even try something like this, let alone be able to make the decision. But I did it, all in the matter of about a week and a half. Planned and everything. The most rewarding part was overcoming all of that anxiety I had and making a decision for myself. Just take your time and don’t be afraid to ask for help or advice. I am SO excited for everything to come.
So, now you know! It’s definitely an experience that I promise to keep you posted on. Traveling is my absolute favorite thing. I think it’s really good for people to see different parts of the world and different cultures. I’m proud of myself for getting in and for staying calm and in control throughout the whole process of deciding what option was best for me. So, take this Monday and know that you can handle whatever comes your way this week. Whether it’s good or bad. Or whether it will completely change your life. Let’s all practice living well, okay? Okay.
I hope you guys have a fantastic week! Sending you love and positive vibes!