What Happens When A Person Tears You Down

Heartbreak.  It’s confusing.  What identifies a heartbreak?  I think the general consensus is that it’s the feeling after the relationship with a significant other has ended.  But it’s so much more than that, isn’t it?  Anyone can break your heart.  Whether it’s a parent, a friend, a boyfriend, a girlfriend, a wife, a husband, or any person that you love.  And if you’ve experienced any kind of heartbreak, you know that it essentially feels like setting yourself on fire in front of oncoming traffic.  Where you get run over, twice.  The upside to this is when someone  breaks your heart and tears you down, there is nothing in this world that will make you stronger.  Sure, I won’t lie to you, it’s going to screw with you.  But you’ll learn some of the most important life lessons through this.

You might have relied on them.  You might have relied on them more than you even thought you did.  Did you think that you couldn’t be you without them?  That you weren’t completely whole without this extension of yourself?  I’ve been there and I’ve felt that way too.  But here’s a secret:  It’s not true.  Hindsight is always 20/20.  Because it’s impossible to see that you are strong enough to be you all by yourself when you are on the verge of making yourself sick from crying so hard.  147142-lady-gaga-quote-it-s-always-wrong-to-hate-but-it-s-never-wrong-to      Have you experienced the days where you don’t want to leave the house?  Where you don’t even want to get out of bed or your pajamas?  This is where your mom and your friends start to get worried because you’re not eating or sleeping either.  But you don’t notice because you are too busy trying to keep all of the things that remind you of the person who hurt you at the back of your mind.  Which, is proving to be more difficult than you’d ever thought, because everything reminds you of them.  You’ve found yourself crying a few times, only noticing when the tears started to fall onto your shirt.  Because you’re that heartbroken, and everything is sad and oh so very numb.  Did you just start crying?  Have you been crying from morning till night?  Does the person who hurt you realize what they’ve done?  Do they care?

You’re questioning everything right now.  You spend your days sad and wondering if you’ll ever have the answers.  How could someone who was such an intricate part of your life leave you without any closure?  Will you ever trust anything for what it seems to be ever again?  Because one minute, you were so sure of something.  You couldn’t be more sure if it was a tangible feeling that you could hold in your hands.  Then you blinked.  It was literally that quick.  All of a sudden, everything was completely different.  Sure, like I said before, hindsight is 20/20 so perhaps there were things happening that you didn’t notice before.  Maybe you weren’t as happy as you thought you were.  But does that make it any easier?  Does it take away the overwhelming feeling of grief weighting down on your chest?  No.  It doesn’t.

You possibly even thought that this would never happen to you.  But all of a sudden, it did.  And you felt consumed and torn apart by it.  You felt broken.


Here is where I’ll tell you another secret.  The best part of being broken is that you can be fixed.  This, I promise you.  You will learn so many wonderful things about yourself as you begin to process and heal through everything.  Maybe you’ve caught yourself thinking that you should be over this by now?  Um, no.  Take your time to heal and don’t rush yourself.  Feeling the pain is the only way to get through it.

You’re going to find yourself again.  Chances are, you’ll be stronger too.  You’ll learn that it’s okay to be alone.  If you’re like me, you may even grow to like it at times.  You’ll see that you could never be that cruel to someone because you’ve been through it.  It’ll almost be like having a completely new outlook on life.  You were down for a moment, but built yourself back up and are stronger, smarter, and wiser than ever before.  You learn to love yourself and the people that surround you so much more.  You’ll learn to notice things like actions, because the truth is that they do speak louder than words.  And the day will come when you realize that not everyone will break you this way.


The day will come when you are healed.  Maybe you won’t be exactly the same person you were before, but you will be okay.  You were able to pick yourself back up and dig deep to find the courage to find yourself again.  And that, my friend, will be something no one will ever take away from you again.  Life threw you a curve ball.  You experienced the shortest forever that someone had ever promised you.  But here you are.  You’ve already survived so many of the days you never thought you’d get through.  So take a deep breath.  You will not give the person who tore your life apart the satisfaction of getting the best of you.  Because you deserve the best of you.

Maybe even one day, you can look back on the good times with this person and find yourself wishing them the best.  And this is how you know you’re a beautiful and wonderful person who is so much more than okay.

xx Kara







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